Tomorrow you turn 1 year old. It seems like only yesterday that I brought you home from the hospital wearing tiny little clothes and a hospital bracelet. Snuggled in your infant carrier, you seemed smaller than small. A tiny little life with a shock of dark brown hair and little blue eyes that sparkled with your happy personality. My precious child,you are the greatest evidence in the world of God’s existence and his majesty. To look upon your face for the first time was to look at God himself. The love I have for you is but the tip of the iceberg. Though I love you more than there are words in any language to express, God's love for you is even greater. I feel so amazingly blessed that he chose me to be your guide and your guardian in this world. Though I carried and birthed you, it was he who first blew into you the breath of life. He is your creator, your ever loving Father and you belong to him.
As I look at you today, you are so big; walking everywhere you can, smiling, laughing, clapping your hands, babbling dada and mama, chasing your sister. I know that the day is coming, sooner than I’d like, when some other woman will catch your eye and capture your heart. While it fills me with joy, it also fills me with a great sadness for you are the love of my life. My little man and snuggle puppy. It fills my eyes with tears and my heart with a desperate desire to stop time. I pray that whoever she is that she will be loving, loyal and filled with a love for God.
Know this my young son, my duty to is great. Not only must I raise you to be educated, wise, compassionate, giving, polite and confident, most important I must instill in you the love of God. And to foster in you a great love for Him. There will times my beloved when you will fight against my rules, my decisions and my stubborn refusal to allow you do things just because the other kids are doing it. As one mother said so succinctly, my job is not to make you happy. I don’t want you to be ‘happy’ I want you to be confident; I want you to feel adequate because you are a child of God. It is he whom you must please, not society, not me, not yourself. Remember my sweet, it is he who created you, who sustains you and who will always be there with you. I pray that as you get older you will learn to rely on him for guidance and strength. Human strength is fleeting and our wisdom is often flawed. Trust in God and he will always take you down the right path.
I love you so much Samuel, sometimes I think my heart might burst from the strain. When your sister was born I felt the same for her, I still do. It amazes me to think that my heart has such a capacity to love so greatly two different people. You are my greatest treasure and my most valued accomplishment.
Lastly, my beloved, allow me this one indulgence; stay innocent for as long as you can. When you are grown and in front of your friends I promise not to kiss you if you promise to snuggle with me when you get home. You will one day be a man, with a wife and children of your own, but to me, you will always be my baby; my sweet little boy who stole my heart and took my breath away. I love you more than you could ever know.
Happy Birthday my love
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